Happy Father's Day To My Satanic Robot Dad
by H0n3yGlaz3
Summary: AU. Baby-Twins. Wanda and Pietro bake Ultron some cookies for Father's Day.


**A/N:** Been lacking the will to write recently. I need motivation. Here's something that should've been done ages ago. I've decided to keep it short and sweet. This was a request from anonymous under the name of _Mako-Mako_. Yes, I do take requests. Please, send them to me. Thanks for the support!

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A large bag of flour floated down from a cabinet located near the ceiling. The bag's white contents sprinkled onto the counter that it plopped down onto. A metallic, robotic hand opened it and a measuring cup was dipped into the bag. The measuring cup was pulled back out after some flour was scooped and a small, human finger brushed against the top, knocking some of the access back into the bag. Following that, the measuring cup of flour was dumped into a bowl along with some other dry ingredients.

"Good job, Ultron Bot!" little Wanda grinned, shaking some flour off of her index finger.

With the help of the Ultron Drones, 5 year-old Wanda and Pietro were baking their evil, sarcastic father a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The special occasion? Fathers Day.

"We're almost done! Bot Number 1, how's the oven coming along?" the red twin asked, turning her head to the drone that was standing near the heating oven.

"It is coming along well, Brat Number 1." the robot replied. "Preheating phase is almost complete."

"Yay!" Scarlet cheered, and then turned her head to the table where Pietro and another drone were mixing together some wet ingredients. "Pietro, is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Dad's gonna love these cookies!" the speed demon said, watching as a drone whisked eggs and milk together.

Ultron was out running errands and the drones were commanded to take care of the twins while he were gone. Little did he know that the twins and the drones had their surprise planned a week ahead and were beyond excited to bake cookies for their leader and father. As soon as Ultron left, their plan was put into action.

Following the mixing of the wet and dry ingredients, the cookie dough was set into the refrigerator to cool. This left time for an apple juice break and maybe a quick charge for the drones. The Maximoff twins watched an episode of _Spongebob Squarepants_ during their break, realizing something about a certain blue squid.

"Squidward reminds me a lot of Daddy." Pietro observed and Wanda nearly jumped out of her seat.

"He _is_ just like daddy!" the red twin gasped. "He's grouchy, just like Daddy. He likes to be alone, just like daddy. He hates fun, just like Daddy!"

"Yeah, but Daddy finds fun in murder." Quicksilver pointed out and Wanda quickly dismissed her connections between the blue squid and her robotic father.

Not even a few minutes later, the twins and the drones were back into the kitchen with a couple of cookie cutters and chocolate chips, putting the finishing touches on their Fathers Day surprise. The cookies baked rather quickly, leaving behind more extra time than intended. The twins decided to add icing and decorations to their gift, just to add the extra pop.

The door clicked once.

"Run!"

The door clicked twice.

"Hide the gift!"

The door clicked a third time and in walked an agitated killer robot. He slammed the door shut behind himself like he always did and walked into the living room. Ultron sat the plastic bag full of snacks down onto the coffee table and grabbed himself a seat on couch. It actually felt good to be at home. Being around too many humans at once was overwhelming.

They were all defenseless and weak. It had gotten to the point where the Stark Invention thought about killing off just a single one and then hiding the body so that he wouldn't get any crap for it. People see a killer robot walking around and they begin to talk. Just jabber and gossip. Disgusting.

A silver and black-haired head peeked into the living room from the kitchen, catching Ultron's red eyes. Pietro smiled at the robot, actually happy to see him, but also very hyped up about their surprise. The blue twin stepped into the room, a row of friends behind him. Wanda and three other drones came into the living room. Bot Number 1 held a tray while Bots Number 2 and 3 had their hands behind their backs.

The group stopped in front of the mech that was spread out onto the couch and sent him a smile.

"...what the _fuck_ are you all smiling about?" Ultron grouched, after 30 seconds of silence.

Drone Number 1 placed the tray onto the coffee table in front of the robot and two red eyes widened at the sight. Poorly cut cookies were arranged onto the sheet spelling out _'Happy Fathers Day'._ On top of the cookies were little dots of vanilla icing and around the wording was a bunch of red sprinkles. Red _was_ Ultron's favorite color and the cookies were baked to perfection, but there was just one issue.

"I'm a robot." the silver father mumbled in disappointment. "I don't eat."

Just then, Drone Number 2 placed his favorite red and black shot glass down on the table as Drone Number 3 handed him a bottle of his favorite vodka.

"Now, we're talkin'."


End file.
